the background behind my story and how i got to where i am probably has something to do with how i let myself get so entrenched in my current situation. basically the 5 years after he was arrested i stayed single and when i wasn’t working, spent my time completely focused on my kids. eventually i had a few casual relationships, which were fun and taught me a lot about life and relating to people. those were carefree days, it was superficial and fun living in the moment and i never gave any thought to the future. and then someone i had recently reconnected with asked me out. i had a hunch it was coming but i didn’t say anything till he mentioned it first. i told him upfront that i am not ready to be in a relationship and reminded him that i was seeing someone even if only casually. he was persistent but patient and a few months later i had given much thought to the idea of being with him in a long term monogamous relationship and decided i was finally ready.